Melissa Ambrosini’s name has been around for quite some time, especially in the entertainment industry. After several stints working as an actress, TV presenter, and professional dancer, she finally ventured out into the self-help category by writing about her experiences in the Hollywood and influencer culture scene, notably about Comparisonitis.
What is Comparisonitis? Melissa explains this in her book: Mastering Your Inner Mean Girl and her podcast “The Melissa Ambrosini Show” which puts this under the beady eye of a microscope. According to her, this helps in “unpacking the symptoms, and offering practical tips you can start using immediately to break the cycle of comparison, free up mental bandwidth, and live life on your own terms”.
Her other book – “PurposeFull and Open Wide” has attained a significant amount of praise from her fellow self-help gurus such as Jay Shetty and others for being a profound and open letter about going through trauma and accepting its lessons in order to move on.
Here at British Thoughts Magazine, we caught up with the amazing Melissa Ambrosini as we sit down and talk about how to break the stigma, life, and how it all began.
Let’s start from the beginning, how did the transition from being in the entertainment industry to the modern-day self help business? What was your experience like?
Back in 2010, I was working as an actress, TV presenter and professional dancer, when I started having huge mental and physical health problems. Eventually, I hit rock bottom and ended up in hospital, with my body basically in crisis mode. I knew that if I didn’t make a change to my life — including the work I was doing, which was slowly eating away at my soul — then I’d never be able to get well and happy again. From there, I started listening to my intuition (something I’d never done before). I was very interested in health and wellness, so I started studying holistic nutrition, and the second phase of my career grew and evolved from there. It’s been quite a journey and I’ve learned so much along the way. I’m pleased to say, my work these days makes me happier than anything else I’ve ever done before. In fact, it doesn’t feel like work at all!
If you don’t mind me asking, what was the profound moment in your life that made you want to be a writer?
I have always loved the written word but my inner Mean Girl told me I never had much to say and that no one will read my work. It wasn’t until 2010 when I hit rock bottom and started a blog that I began sharing my story. It was then that I realised I did in fact have something to share. From there I knew I wanted to write books.
What was the inspiration behind writing Mastering Your Mean Girl?
Like all my books the inspiration comes from my own personal experience and working one on one with clients. I personally struggled with a very lour inner Mean Girl for so many years and saw that my clients, friends and family also did. This was when I started sharing how I master my inner Mean Girl and the 4 step CAST process I use. The results I saw with my clients and for me personally were profound and made me want to share it all in a book.
Could you lay down what is Comparisonitis? How do you think it has made an impact on how social media is shaped nowadays?
Comparisonitis is when you compare yourself to others so frequently and fiercely that you’re left paralyzed, with your confidence in tatters and your self-worth plummeting. It may sound trivial, but this affliction can have serious adverse effects on our mental health, leading to depression, anxiety, overthinking, and regret. (Not fun!)
From a young age, I was working in industries where comparisonitis was rife, like acting, dancing and modelling. Spending so much time in those environments meant that I ‘caught’ the comparisonitis bug at a young age, and it really took hold and carried into adulthood. I wasted far too many hours of my life looking around at other people to determine my own worth, then beating myself up like crazy for all my apparent “failings”.
It took me a long time — and a truckload of inner work — to unpack what was going on in my head and overcome those habituated thinking patterns. So once I came out the other side (and in particular, once I developed a process that helped me end the cycle) I knew it was something I wanted to share with others. Especially because comparisonitis has become more common now than ever before, particularly with the advent of social media, and especially in young people. This book feels like the most important work I could share with the world right now, and I’m thrilled to be sharing it at this moment in time.
With the influencer culture growing, how do you think that your four step ACES Technique (awareness, choose a different path, eliminate, and shift your state) would help shape and maintain people’s mental health?
The 4-step ACES Technique is a simple but genius framework which underpins all the other tools and tactics you’ll find in the book. You can use this technique whenever you find yourself spiralling into toxic comparison, or beating yourself up because you don’t “measure up”. It will jump you out of those negative, toxic feelings quick-smart and help boost your metal state to one that is positive and uplifting.
And what do you think was the most challenging lesson in your book; the one that even for you, is still work in progress?
There are four major areas we compare…
- Our relationships
- Career and finances
- Body images
And I have had to work on all of them. But the big lesson for me right now is when it comes to parenting. I just became a mama to a beautiful little angel, so right now I am using the ACES Technique any time I go to compare to others mama’s whose babies are sleeping through the night. There really is no need to compare. We are all on our own path and we need to remember to not look left and right to see what others are doing tand to stay in our own lane.
Let’s talk about your podcast, The Melissa Ambrosini Show, what made you decide to work on this new social concept? How did it all come together?
I was having a conversation with my husband Nick Broadhurst, who is an incredible musician and entrepreneur. I was telling him that I wanted to share everything I know in one place and I want to interview the experts who have inspired me along my journey. We realised that a podcast was the best platform to facilitate that. I started my podcast in February 2017 and I still LOVE it. It brings me so much joy and I love sharing in this way.
Could you tell us what would be the most interesting topic that was talked about on the show?
I cover topics from health and wellness, entrepreneurship, mindfulness and meditation, self-love and self care, conscious conception and parenting, soulful relationships and more. I personally love all these topics and find them so interesting. There is something for everyone on my show.
On a lighter note, could you tell us how you have kept yourself and your family happy and active during the pandemic?
Many of our daily practices and rituals have kept us thriving. From daily meditations, movement, nourishing food and clean water, early nights, fresh air and nature, and as many laughs and games as possible. What I realised during the pandemic is that it’s truly the simple things like love, connection and our relationships that make us thrive. The pandemic gave us all an opportunity to get clear on what matters and for me it’s these simple things.
Lastly, if you were to give out one piece of advice for anyone going through comparisonitis and Mean Girl tendencies what would it be and why?
My wish for everyone reading the book is that they remember how truly incomparable, magical, amazing and unique they are. I want them to understand, on a heart and soul level, that there is no need to compare themselves to anyone else, and that their role here on Earth is simply to be the best, most authentic version of themselves possible.
Check out and subscribe to Melissa’s website for updates: www.melissaambrosini.com
Grab yourself a copy of Comparisonitis at www.comparisonitis.com
Listen to The Melissa Ambrosini Show wherever you listen to podcasts
Come follow her on Instagram @melissaambrosini