Meet Johnny Cassell
who first stepped into his role at 17. Since then, he has run two dating companies and has opened his own agency…Oh and the most influential factor: he has been travelling the world, in order to help men become successful with women.
interview by Kate Moss
photo by zainea
Q: Could you please provide a short description of yourself? What were your first thoughts on Johnny Cassell turning into London’s top dating coach?
A: Actually, it all happened quite organically. It started as a personal need. I feel that everyone who’s working in the self-development industry, should always focus their first project on themselves. When I was younger, I was very caught up in the “lad culture” and was clueless about women. Attending an all-boys school and then spending 4 more years studying engineering, meant that the former chapters of my life didn’t allow much access to girls. I wanted to do something about the situation and to learn about women on a deeper level. I invested a lot of time in self-development by reading books, studying human behaviour, putting myself out there, etc. I’ve mastered the scope of human relationships and I’ve realised that I could make other people happy, by helping them to learn these skills as well.
Q: So… what are your thoughts on love?
A: Love is definitely something that transpires over time, when you learn to appreciate each other’s qualities and recognise the value it can add to you. Most people, actually, address the issue solely romantically and they don’t really think logically about it. They don’t qualify as individuals based on their long-term needs. Women are actually savvier at this, whereas men will easily confuse infatuation with love.
Q: And do you believe in love at first sight?
A: No, I believe in infatuation at first sight… How can you be in love with someone, when you hardly know anything about them?This idea is usually based on looks only and it actually holds us back from discovering love.The first glance will only reveal the colour of the wrapping paper; there’s a lot more to uncover, beneath that.
Q: Do you think that social media is a curse when it comes to dating? Do you reckon that it affects the society we live in, nowadays?
A: I think social media is a great tool when it comes to dating. If you’re on Facebook or Instagram, you understand how to use platforms to market yourself. It’s comparable to learning how to dress up your shop window and attract your audience, by communicating your values. People who don’t understand how to use this space are going to fall short of great opportunities to meet others, whether that is: romantic, business-prone or platonic relationships.
Q: How do you see the future of dating, in regards to technology? How do you see it progressing?
A: I think the biggest problem with mass-market dating apps today is their inevitable overpopulation. Companies start to monetise them: they throw adverts everywhere and, as a result, they lose their appeal.
I foresee the app space moving towards restricting access because there’s a certain allure to that. It’s similar to the nightlife space, where it’s cooler to be associated with a “members-only” club. The tribe is unique, the tribe is more elitist, therefore more attractive.
Q: What makes your expertise a huge success? And why do you think that you’re an expert in this area?
A: I think success is measured by my clients’ experiences and their results. That’s the seal of approval that I need: to recognise that this is what I do best. I’ve learned that these interactions are universal. We’re all emotional beings and everything around us is based on relationships. Relationships go beyond the “just meeting women”concept. It means being happily married, creating social circles from scratch, creating new career opportunities and improving relationships with your family. Relationships are everywhere and you have to reap success in all those areas.
Q: What behaviour flaws do you frequently see in men? What is the common flaw that causes breakdowns in relationships?
A: I definitely find that emotional unavailability is an important factor. There’s always a deeper reasoning behind it, usually traced back to earlier events in their life. It could be as trivial as an embarrassing primary school experience, which then acts as a reference for thinking in a certain way: ‘If I allow myself to be vulnerable and display emotion, I’ll get punished for it.’
I normally try to get to the root of their problem and then, gradually, work through every aspect of their life. That is, not only working on improving the relationship with their partner, but also with their family and friends.
Q: So, would you say that a more pleasant approach to dating advice would be becoming a life coach and friend to your clients?
A: Absolutely! Especially with the mentorship program, which is spaced over 6-12 months! This is so much deeper than working with someone over the weekend, in a seminar room. For me, the joy comes from getting to go on a journey with these guys: they actually take me on as a “lifestyle consultant”. It’s a wonderful feeling to have clients whom I’ve known for years! They retain me because they feel that I truly enhance all aspects of their life.
Q: If you don’t mind sharing, how is your love life? I’m aware that it’s a really personal question but, considering that you are a “love coach”, you must have your own story.
A: My love life is very active at the moment. I’ve just come out of a four-year relationship, which was a fantastic one. We’re both very grateful for the outcome of those four years. I always encourage people in a similar situation to look back and be appreciative of the experience, rather than carry a bitter taste in their mouth. After all, that person was a reflection of you, for a long time. Anyway, the irony of your question is that the “dating coach” is currently back on the market.
Q: Are you looking for love or are you just finding it?
A: I think the key to finding love is to be awake to each opportunity. Nevertheless, I don’t think you should be aggressively looking for it: this can be a very noticeable and unattractive personal feature.
Q: If anyone is interested, how can they join your sessions? What options are available?
A: To start off, we offer a group experience, which really focuses on creating impactful connections with others. It’s a 12-hour ”taster session” and a very ”immersive” experience. Then, we provide seven-day programs that are” one-on-one” sessions, 10 hours a day, for a whole week. It’s very intense and requires the outmost commitment. The mentorship programs are great for retainability, hence my clients will see me once a week, over 6-12 months. It’s extremely important to acknowledge that, if this is an area that you want to excel at, you have to be dedicated and also make the time for it. At the same time, you can check out my website, or find me on social media. I have lots of contents and free videos constantly uploaded there. I always recommend that people should view my content first, in order to see if this is of interest to them.